


Exactly where you want me

by undisguised



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: F/M, Mental Health Issues, Modern AU, No Beta, safe sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2020-12-11
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:22:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26927293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/undisguised/pseuds/undisguised
Summary: Zuko has to cope with living again with his estranged sister, Azula. Mai, as usual, is caught in the middle.
Relationships: Mai/Zuko (Avatar), Sokka/Suki (Avatar)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 48





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> I feel like a better summary would be:
> 
> Mai: Let's f*ck.  
> Zuko: Don't u mean hug?
> 
> okay some Tws ranging from most serious to just bare mentions: sex duh, discussion of mental illness, some casual ableism (obviously i don't like it but i wanted it to be realistic), party, booze and drugs, also a Sokka before he was a feminist tbh (he's not that terrible per se, he's just acting like a guy).
> 
> I don't even know what this is, this was supposed to be way way shorter but Sokka and toph appeared and i got carried away oops.

Zuko huffed a breath as he pedaled uphill. He usually wasn’t this tired when he biked his way back home but he wasn’t expecting to be coming back so early. He was supposed to be spending the weekend at Sokka’s with Aang and Katara, but turns out he ditched him for a booty call and forgot to let him know. Half an hour into the documental Aang forced them to watch, he began losing patience. Aang and Katara’s smooching session seemed to slowly escalate and Zuko was fearing they forgot he was still here. The third-wheeling was too much so he decided to endure the 2-hour ride back, lamenting not choosing to take the bus like a normal person.

Their building was old; not in a run-down kind of way, rather it was spacious and luxurious—too lush for his taste, he still couldn’t get used to it. Zuko had to carry his bike upstairs. Between the heat of the remnants of summer and the extra physical effort, he was dripping in sweat, his clothes sticking to his skin. 

He sighed in relief when he made it to the final floor, too tired to search for his keys he knocked on the door. The music blaring inside indicated him his sister was home; however, he couldn’t have imagined she enjoyed blasting top 40’s hits, let alone for the whole building to hear.

“What are you doing here?” Azula answered the door, her signature eyebrow raise greeting him. She was uncharacteristically dressed up, her eyes plastered with a light brown shadow and her lips painted with a deeper red, not the same shade she uses every day. Her hair was down and she was wearing her most expensive jewelry. It was a side of her he has never seen before, but after only a month living together, he guessed he should prepare for more surprises. 

“This is my house...” He replied with the same sarcastic tone that drove most of their interactions. 

“No, duh.” She rolled her eyes, her body blocking his passage inside the house. “I thought you would finally leave me alone tonight.”

The makeup was a hint, her reluctance to let him in was another, but his suspicions were confirmed when he saw a silhouette cross in the background. As far as he was concerned, the only friend she had was Ty Lee, and she was far more voluptuous than who he saw. 

“You’re throwing a party?” He asked, genuinely dumbfounded. 

“Does it matter? You’re not invited,” she snarked. 

“I didn’t want to be. Regardless, you should have asked me first, don’t you think?” He tried to be strategically fair, knowing his sister usually twisted things around to her own benefit. 

Azula scoffed, not tolerating being told what to do, “Last time I checked, father was the owner of this place, not uncle Fatso. So, don’t think that because you’ve been living here longer that you get to make the rules.” __

_ I do! _ , she pretty much clarified.

Zuko was growing tired of Azula reminding him that every day, but for the sake of avoiding conflict he remained quiet, as much as it angered him to hear her insult his uncle. He recalled having his fair share of a good time these past two years without her, he guessed she could have her fun too now that she was starting college. 

“Fine, but I get to invite Sokka.” His friend may have ditched him for a girl but he sure as hell won’t for a party. 

“Can’t you choose a less barbarian friend?” 

He shook his head; he could invite Aang and Katara but he’s sure they’re still making out in the couch. 

“Fine,” She relented, giving him space to enter the apartment. “Clean after your mess,” she commanded while eyeing the wheels of his bike spinning on the marble floors. “Also, take a shower. You stink.”

He positioned his bike against the wall of the entrance temporarily and made his way to the kitchen in desperate need for some water. 

His focus shifted when he found the same silhouette from earlier laying against the counter. She was biting an apple, her eyes glued to her phone as she senselessly scrolled through social media.

Zuko couldn’t help but stare, she was something out of his most unhinged dreams.

(Or a weirdly specific porn search tab, if he was being completely honest).

He knew it was inappropriate but his mind automatically wandered that way. Her presence was alluring; in a way he hasn’t experienced before with anybody else. 

The hues of the apple she held to her wine stained lips matched her pointy burgundy nails and her sharp golden eyes. Her gaze was intensified by the heavy black eyeshadow that crossed her lids and her messy bangs that hung over her arched eyebrows. 

Ivory skin and a satin black bra peeked from her see-through fishnet crop top. Her toned midriff was exposed; accentuating the curve that travelled from her waist down to her hips. Her look would have been more shocking if it weren’t for the black  jogger she matched her top with.

The girl acknowledged his presence by looking up from her phone and separating the fruit from her lips, leaving a glossy texture from its juice behind. 

The look of ennui and her lips pursed in boredom brought back the memories to his head. It was Azula’s childhood friend, Mai. The same girl his lips first laid upon. 

Naturally with the course of events that made his family split in different directions, it has been years since they last saw each other. He didn’t know how to act, starting with how, even if it was to be expected, she was still as beautiful as he had thought back then, followed by how said beauty deeply enthralled him. 

In comparison, he was a wreck. His hair clung to his forehead and his clothes were bathed in sweat. Most days he didn’t think about his scar but he couldn’t help but feel self-conscious as he stood in front of her.

“H-Hi...,” He stammered, still unsure whether he should introduce himself or not. “How are you?”

Could he be sound more pathetic? Probably. 

She ignored his greeting; however, she still spoke to him, “I tried to stop her but she wouldn’t listen to me.”

“ _ Who? _ My sister?”

She raised her eyebrow as if to say ‘obviously’, but the way she did it wasn’t like Azula’s, where every movement was calculated and poisonous. She sighed, “Clearly she’ll do what she wants so now we’re stuck facing the consequences.”

Surprised she acknowledged him in any sort of way, Zuko was too focused on how she said ‘We’ that he didn’t notice her step away from the counter. Too late to say anything, she passed by him, leaving a trail of her perfume behind to bask in.

* * *

Mai thought she handled that pretty well, or at least, as well as she could. 

Although, she hated that Zuko was hotter than she had expected. 

To her, he was just a distant memory, too sickly for her taste but with good sentiments. She was curious to see if he kept his good looks but it never crossed her mind anything other than window-shopping, especially knowing Azula said he was off-limits.

She could tell he was interested, and it felt really good... to hear him so out of breath as he looked her up and down. She may not agree with Azula’s new stunt but that didn’t mean she wouldn’t dress the part, and she was very glad she did. 

“Look, ‘Zula. All I'm saying is that maybe we could play Monopoly instead. You’re the only person I know that has ever won that game, that’s so impressive!”

“Nonsense, Ty Lee, you out of all people would rather party.”

“I know, I know! I just don’t think it’s such a good idea.”

Mai rubbed the bridge of her nose at that last part. Ty Lee was supposed to persuade her roommate, instead she revealed her real intention. When Azula smelled a game, it was pretty much over. 

Ty Lee widened her eyes, urging her to step in. Azula caught onto that and turned to glare at Mai.

Mai crossed her arms. Why was everybody so calm about this? It was a miracle Azula was allowed to go to college, the last thing she should be doing right now is throwing a party. Which reminded her...

“Since when do you even like to socialize?” Mai bashfully asked.

Azula rolled her eyes. “ _ I don’t. _ ” She rose from her bed and smoothed her dress to the last wrinkle in front of her mirror. “But how am I supposed to start a new chapter of my life if I'm glued to you two...”  _ Morons _ . 

Mai was unfazed, once she figured out that most of what Azula said to them was in the plans of hurting them she stopped fighting it. Life had gotten much easier when she realized that any word spoken from her mouth was ambiguous and hid a real intention.

“I guess you’re right,” Ty Lee added, as usual, she was easily influenced.

“Don’t encourage her,” Mai barked at her friend. 

Azula turned around to look at them both. “If you girls are implying I haven’t gotten better then you better get it drilled into your brains. Everything will be fine, stop worrying.”

“Yeah, especially since you are the queen of lightness and  breeziness ,” Mai said sarcastically. 

Azula’s brow knitted together, opening her mouth to say something to her friend that no weak-minded person could want to hear. Ty Lee, always the mediator, intervened, “I think it will be fun! It’s just a party, how wrong could it go?”

_ How about terribly.  _

Mai resisted the urge to bite her nails. Saying she was stressed was an understatement, the scene was pure utter chaos and it seemed like she was the least drunk person in this place to realize that. It’s very easy for Ty Lee to encourage rainbows and flowers when she wasn’t the one handling the fertilizer. 

Knowing it was trouble to mix her meds, she had tried to keep any glass of alcohol far from Azula, but that proved to be useless when around 50 people showed up downstairs with boxes filled with bottles of different types of alcohol. So much for a small party. 

She found herself sitting in the corner of the living room, alone, observing the scenery. She never expected to have fun and she usually never did. She thought about going back to her dorm but Suki already said she was on her way, so she wasn’t going to ditch her. 

She felt the stares, most judgingly. Probably thinking how could she dress that way? or how could she bare to be sitting alone like a loser? Some guys, unsurprisingly the peppy lacrosse players, glanced at her from time to time; clearly intrigued, eager to bed her, yet too intimidated to approach her. 

Most times she felt deeply unattractive but moments like these reminded her that her mother was right, if she wanted to (which involved wearing more pink clothes and less depressing make up) she could bag a rich husband. It was hilarious because fulfilling her mother's expectations wasn’t going to happen any time sooner.

Her thoughts got interrupted by a brave soul daring to approach her by sitting next to her. The conversation would end quickly, she thought; she could be a great bitch if she put her heart into it. 

But now that she realized who it was maybe she could keep the switch off for a little while. 

“Hello...  again ,” Zuko took a sip of his drink, too sheepish to make eye contact. 

“Hey...” 

Zuko scratched the back of his neck. “Do you think Azula and Ty Lee would mind if I invited another friend?”

She should have expected he didn’t come over to get to know her. “This is your apartment, isn’t it?”

“It was until they invaded it and made it their own,” Zuko explained, his eyes fixated on the expensive piece of art that Azula purchased under Ty Lee’s suggestion. It was a pink flower, probably symbolizing female masturbation or anything of the sort. “I don’t really mind. They’re certainly using it better than I did... I guess.” He didn’t sound convinced at all.

“I strongly disagree,” Mai refuted calmly. She couldn’t understand how Zuko didn’t do anything about their terrible taste in décor. 

Zuko chuckled even if she wasn’t kidding. She turned to look at him and they made eye contact for the first time. Up close he was even more handsome; his scar was further from a turn off for her, adding an edge to his soft demeanor. She could easily control her emotions but she was unaware that she was currently smiling at him. 

Azula, whose favorite hobby was ruining things for her, gladly intervened upon encountering a scene out of her worst nightmares. “ _ Mai _ ,” she called for her, arms crossed. 

Mai sighed and it wasn’t until she stood up that she realized how closer they had gotten to each other. “Relax, we were just talking.”

“Oh, I believe you. I just don’t trust  _ him. _ ” 

Zuko gulped and pointed at himself. “Me?! I wasn’t doing anything!”

“ _ Yet. _ ”

Mai rolled her eyes. “Are you done?”

“I wasn’t here to cockblock you guys. Five more minutes talking to each other and you would realize how much of a terrible couple you’d be together.” 

Mai glowered and Zuko blushed furiously. Despite being older, his little sister had a gift for humiliating people, and just because they haven’t lived together for years, it didn’t mean she would appease it. Quite the opposite. 

Azula took another sip of her red cup, but she was too drunk to notice it was empty. “Anyways, I'm leaving.”

“What?” Mai asked. Zuko was too bamboozled to say anything. 

“You heard me. Turns out, these people love me and they invited me somewhere else. Lucky for me, you weren’t invited so I expect you to take care of this while I'm gone.”

Mai fumed. “Are you fucking-” She stopped herself, knowing that calling her insane would involve a rampage. “I told you this was a terrible idea but you never listen.” 

“Terrible...  _ To you _ ,” she clarified. She was drunk enough to not hide her cunningness. “Well, bye now! My uber is outside.” She put on her Prada sunglasses, despite being midnight, and strutted away. She had this over-the-top diva alter ego that overtook whenever she had two or more tequila shots.

Zuko still sat there, mouth agape. 

Mai followed after her but once she reached the hallway, Azula had already been engulfed by the rowdy crowd. 

She called Ty Lee. Once. Twice. 

Third’s a charm. “Yellooow?”

“Where the hell are you? Azula just left!”

“I think...” Pause. “I think I'm in a car.”

Mai could control her emotions fairly well, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t fighting the urge to take out her anger on the guy repeatedly bumping next to her. Mai breathed in and out. “Are you with her?”

Another pause, longer this time. “Yeah, she’s here!”

“Well, bring her back.”

“Umm... but why? We’re having so much fun!”

“Just bring her back!” Mai hung up on her drunken mess of a friend. 

She groaned and slapped her forehead. She looked back at the couch where Zuko was sitting on, still looking confused. 

Mai thought she had two options, she could try and fail to control the party. Or let it crash and burn while she did her own thing, o _ r someone.  _

She smirked as she walked over to Zuko; her eyes charged with everything but innocence. Arms outstretched over the seams of the couch, he looked up at her as if she was the most unbelievable thing he has ever seen. “Do you dance?” she asked monotonously. 

He shifted on his seat. “N-Not really but I can try,” he offered weakly.

“Perfect. Me neither.” She laid a hand on her hip. “Get me a drink?” More than a question it was an order. 

“Right! Of course!” Eager to please, he didn’t fret before going into the kitchen. 

A smug smile formed in her lips as she observed him walk away. This would be too easy, which was perfect, because she was  too lazy to make an effort.

* * *

Zuko ran his hand through his hair back and forth while reading the thousands of bottle labels in the kitchen. His nerves were off-the-charts as he tried to think what type of drink a girl like Mai would be into. Beer? Too effortless. Mojito? Too much. Vodka with juice? Too boring. 

“Hey! Hey! Let me get through!” He heard Sokka stumble into the kitchen. He huffed as he fixed his bun. “These people are crazy, man!”

“What the hell took you so long?!”

Sokka deadpanned and motioned the door he just came in. “Didn’t you listen or have you already lost all hearing from your bad ear?”

“Ha-Ha,” Zuko responded sarcastically. He was hardly offended by Sokka’s twisted sense of humor, which in turn made Sokka’s life much easier. That’s why they were best friends.

“So, where’s the lady?” 

Zuko frowned at him. “Stop being thirsty.”

“I’m not, I just want to check if you made a good choice.”

Sokka had this weird obsession with trying to get Zuko one nights stands, despite him refusing to willingly partake in hook-up culture. He’ll gladly stick to making the same mistake repeatedly, thank you very much. He said it would make his life much easier, no strings attached meant no worries. His philosophy was proving to be untrustworthy because Zuko is well aware that he’s still hung up on Suki. Zuko, being the good friend that he is, allows Sokka to project onto him as long as it makes him happy and doesn’t overdo it. 

“Check from the window of the bar. She’s standing next to the lamp.”

Sokka approached the bar then turned to face him. “I thought you said it was a girl.”

Zuko left another bottle on top of the counter and hurried to the bar. He lightly smacked the back of his friend’s head. “That’s not a lamp, that’s a statue.”

“Your sister has terrible taste,” Sokka claimed as his eyes  wandered once again through the living room.

“I know!” 

“However, you on the other hand...” He whistled in approval and repeatedly patted his back. “You have outdone yourself.” He bowed to him. “The student has beat the teacher.”

“I know, right? she’s breathtaking.” He stared at her dreamily from afar.

“Yeah...” Sokka sneered at him. “But, most importantly, she’s hot as hell.”

“Right.” Zuko rolled his eyes. He quickly shifted moods and smiled. “I think she likes me.”

Sokka sneered again, having a hard time concealing how sick he was from Zuko’s sweetness. “ Umm... Buddy, I just think she wants to fuck you.”

Zuko raised an eyebrow, confused. “You think so? No way... That never happens.”

Sokka rubbed his chin. “Oh, my sweet pupil, when will you understand that I wouldn’t be wasting my time on you if I didn’t think you were fuckable.”

“Thanks?”

“Yeah, Zuko, you better get all up on her or I will.”

Zuko and Sokka stared at each other, confused, then they proceeded to check behind the counter of the bar. Toph was standing there, arms crossed, the crown of her head barely reaching the height of the counter. 

“How much of that conversation did you hear?” Sokka asked.

“All of it. Can you two be any  lamer ?”

“Be careful with what you wish for toph,” Zuko warned, well aware that it was a possibility. “By the way, how the hell did you arrive so fast? I just called you 20 minutes ago.”

“Oh... I was at  your neighbor's .”

Zuko frowned at her, his role of overprotective big brother taking over; it was something he never experienced with her own sister. “Toph, I thought you said you would stop attending his illegal poker nights.”

“I said I wouldn’t if he owed me money. Now, he doesn’t.” She set a bundle of bills on top of the crystal counter. 

Both of them gasped, dismayed by the amount of money that was in front of them. “Put that away before anyone thinks we’re drug dealers!” Sokka exclaimed. 

“Fine, losers.” She shoved the money inside her jacket. “So, about goth girl...”

“Her name’s Mai. You know...” Zuko emphasized the last part, reminding her.

“No way! that’s her?”

“Umm... who?” Sokka asked, clearly offended he wasn’t in on the story. 

Zuko sighed and explained to Sokka how she was his first kiss. After his mother’s death his childhood rarely held good memories to look back with fondness, and she happened to be a good one. Toph remembers because of that time she tricked him into going to the dessert to try Ayahuasca; after purging his guts out and going a life-changing drug trip, he blurted out his whole life story to her.

“So, you lied to me! You’re not going to have a one night-stand! Impossible, you are already in love with her!”

“And I thought Zuko was the dramatic one.” Toph rolled her eyes. “When will you understand that he only says that so you’ll shut up.”

“No, he doesn’t!”

“Yes, I do!” Zuko exclaimed, tired of this conversation. “And you told me you’ll help me get Mai a drink, so please do it!” He exasperatedly signaled to the rummage of bottles.

* * *

Mai licked the rolling paper then admired her perfect handywork. She gritted her teeth and wondered when Suki would arrive so they could light it up. She wasn’t going to get high by just staring at a joint. 

“Sorry I took so long,” Zuko apologized as he juggled 3 cups in his hand, trying not to spill as he bumped with the crowd. Behind him followed a skinny guy with a familiar face she couldn’t recognize and a short girl she’s seen around on campus, despite her stature she’s hard to miss. 

There was nothing he should apologize over; at first, she admitted she wasn’t pleased because waiting was boring but the way his arms flexed as he struggled with the cups had made it all worth it. 

_ So _ _ what if she was horny? _ She had to channel her anger somewhere, and the only action she has gotten these past few months was from her index and middle finger. 

“These are my friends, Toph,” he said, as he lowered to his friend's height so she could grab her cup, “and Sokka.” He waved from behind with a smile. 

“Hi,” she said, lifting the corner of her mouth, trying to sound as likeable as she could manage. If Azula wanted to start a new chapter then she guessed there wasn’t anything wrong with simply meeting new people. She didn’t have many friends nor acquaintances, and she preferred it that way, but she had to admit that a lifetime of Azula and Ty Lee was proving to be too much, especially since the events of summer had made their friendship dynamic completely shift. 

Sure, she also had Suki, but she was her roommate so their friendship didn’t happen organically. In fact, at first, they had some bumps. She thought she was too loud and extroverted, while Suki thought she was too weird and quiet. Time had brought them together, slowly realizing that despite barely sharing common interests, they vibed in the same carefree frequency, even if that was for different reasons.

Upon first impressions, Zuko’s friends looked more tolerable than the average person. At least they didn’t seem like they cared about superficial stuff, like her parents' job or what school she went to, which was a breath of fresh air from her suburban hometown. 

“Ooh,” cooed Sokka while eyeing at the perfectly rolled joint in between her fingers. “So, you’re going all out tonight?”

Mai would have laughed because where’s she’s from, going all out involves crystal meth, not cheap low-quality weed. However, she appreciated Zuko’s friend's enthusiasm. “Yes, I'm just waiting for my friend, Suki, to arrive.”

His mouth went sightly agape and he glanced at Zuko. His reaction made Mai connect the dots in her brain. “I’m sorry, what was your name again?” She asked, feigning ignorance.

“ Uh... Sokka.”

“Oh.” She refrained from chuckling, suddenly remembering Suki’s stories from the failed, yet most intense, romance she had last semester. “So, you’re  _ that _ Sokka.”

“Err... maybe, probably. Why?  _ Is she coming? _ ” He inquired, a little overexcited.

Zuko and Toph snickered with each other, Sokka’s endless path of misfortunes being their source of daily comedy.

“Yes, and no offense, but I just don’t see how that’s a good thing for you,” she warned with honesty; they may have never been an official item but Suki sure held the resentment of an ugly break-up.

Zuko sighed. “Thank god, I thought for a second you two had slept together.” He quickly put a hand to his mouth, flustered that he voiced his thought out loud. 

“But we did, though. He just doesn’t remember,” she casually said with a shrug. 

“What?!” The three blurted out in perfect timing for that unexpected declaration. She could tell Sokka was about to pass out by the way a drop of sweat begun trailing down his forehead.

She deadpanned for two more eternal second and snorted. “Just kidding.”

After the initial shock wore off, both Sokka and Zuko let out a breath they didn’t know they were holding in, and Toph erupted in laughter, clutching her stomach. “Oh my god! You two idiots should have seen your faces!” 

“I know, right,” Mai said to Toph, a little smug about how well that joke paid off. It was nice to know at least someone appreciated her unusual sense of humor.

“Well, it wouldn’t be the first time this happened, so I'm sorry for believing it!” Zuko said, clearly annoyed with Toph’s friendly banter. 

“I admit it, you got me there.” Sokka waggled a finger in front of her face. “But you have to know, I'm the funny guy around here,” He informed lightly, protecting his self-proclaimed title. 

“No, you’re not.” Toph looked at him as if he were delusional. 

“Oh, so, you’re now going to tell me that Zuko is the funny one?” Sokka begun passionately arguing with Toph, so Zuko took that as his cue to leave them to their bickering. 

Zuko approached her and sat on the armrest she was laying against, his shoulder barely grazing hers, the contact suddenly making the room much hotter than it already was. He finally handed over her drink, once again overly apologizing. She thought it was cute, nonetheless.

He opened his mouth to speak, grateful that the action she was longing for was about to star, but Suki bolting into the room ruined it. “Sorry I'm late! But I bought this.” She raised a bottle of fireball, then proceeded to take off her green coat. 

Mai scratched her temple, already uncomfortable with the atmosphere of the room. Suki eyed her, then Zuko, realizing that his presence only meant...

“...Hi!” Sokka grinned awkwardly, followed by a nervous laugh. 

Suki’s  enthusiasm was quickly replaced with a frown. “What are you doing here?”

“You see, I know you’re angry at me but I should probably be asking that question....” Suki’s frown deepened and Sokka gulped. “...Technically.”

Zuko intervened, knowing his friend will only screw it more if he kept talking. “This is my apartment, actually.”

Suki gasped in surprise. “No way! But I thought your uncle owned a tea shop?” The math wasn’t adding up neither for Suki, nor Mai. When she spoke with Zuko’s uncle a month ago she wasn’t made aware he was dedicating his life to customer service.

“It’s a very long and difficult story,” Zuko explained. Like all things with his family usually were.

Suki nodded and stood there, arms crossed, while everyone suddenly quieted. No one knew how to diffuse the tension. Toph rolled her eyes; as usual, she had the biggest balls in the place.

“We get it! Alright? You hate each other.” Toph groaned, already over with this situation. “Now, can we all act civilized so we can finally take some shots and pass out?!”

“I second that,” Mai added, and exchanged looks of agreement with Zuko.

It didn’t really take much for everyone else to agree, and before they knew it the two  shots they all took together back to back had made effect. The herd of sheep that arrived at the party had instinctively dispersed, with about half of them leaving in search for more nightly adventures. Which was a relief for them, now they didn’t have to shout over the music, there was more room to breathe, and the neighbors' complaints had diminished by a half. 

“How are you okay with this?” Mai asked, genuinely confused as to why he didn’t care his apartment was getting completely trashed. 

“Because, Azula left you in charge and you know what _ that _ means,” He said sympathetically, emphasizing how much trouble his sister was.

She rolled her eyes playfully.  Of course she knew what he meant, everything that came out of her friend’s mouth was dead serious—if Mai was left in charge then that meant Mai had to deal with it, not buts. If she wasn’t doing anything to prevent disaster from happening it was because she was rebelling against her imaginary dictatorship. “Yes, but besides that.”

“Look, I know she’s your friend. But I had enough of her yapping her mouth-” Zuko made a gesture with his hand, signaling her sister’s endless hassling, “-down my ear already! And we’ve only been roommates for a month! And that’s without taking Ty Lee into account...” He shuddered at the mention of his other roommate. Mai noticed that Zuko’s behavior didn’t change much when he was drunk, other than his body language spoke for himself. “I’m tired. This is her party; she should take care of it.” 

Mai couldn’t figure out if he was either too unattached to any material belongings or just a simple man that didn’t care living in a mess. Regardless, his lack of preoccupation towards her sister’s current behavior made her wonder if his warm and caring exterior was just a front, because she couldn’t understand how he went by so at ease, knowing Azula should currently be heavily  monitored . 

She thought that maybe she was overreacting but then she remembered the scar she had on her left arm following the incident. It had been the weirdest moment in her entire life. She couldn’t help but rub her arm as the memory flooded her. 

“Are you okay?” Zuko asked, visibly concerned. 

She broke out of her trance and nodded, smiling as she took her cup to her lips. 

The night kept going smoothly. Drinking game after drinking game got them all bare and shameless. Sokka, who turned out to be the most competitive of the bunch, complained every time Toph won. Whether it was a visual or verbal game, she always won; Sokka unable to stand that, insisted on banning Toph from playing, claiming her blindness was an unfair advantage. In turn, the jokes at his expense got more frequent and she ended up accusing him of discrimination, which he didn’t take very lightly. 

Extremely butthurt, he got the great idea of putting his empty beer bottle in the middle of the table. Spinning the bottle wasn’t a competitive game because according to him everyone loses. Mai secretly wished the bottle would land on Zuko every time she spun it, but luck was never on her side. Instead, Zuko awkwardly pecked Suki on the lips, Toph gladly made out with her, and Sokka planted a sloppy kiss all over Zuko’s mouth to spite him. Mai was glad they weren’t those guys that fret over their non-existing masculinity. 

However, all hell broke loose when Suki spun the bottle again. This time landing on Sokka. It was inevitable that a fight broke out between them. Sokka stood up from his seat, unashamedly pouting his lips for a treat which Suki refused to give. The rejection mixed in with the different degrees of alcohol in his system made him break into a tearful apology. Mai expected Suki dignify him with a scoff and the silent treatment, but she was surprised when a tear rolled down her face, claiming she missed him too. Without any other word they grabbed their jackets that hung on their seats and went on a walk to talk about their feelings. 

Seeing as it was already 4am, Mai knew the night was dwindling down.  So while Toph was telling an anecdote about how she blackmailed the dean of her faculty in exchange of not expelling her, Mai decided to lay a hand on Zuko’s leg, hoping it would be enough to get the hint. 

What she didn’t expect was the he would lay his hand on hers, fingers  intertwined . At first, Mai fidgeted with her foot, clearly uncomfortable by such foreign gesture, but as time passed, she relaxed, cursing herself for enjoying it a little too much.

By 4:30am, a neighbor knocked on the door. They glanced at each other, worried about what it might be this time. It was just the old guy next door, desperately looking for Toph in hopes to convince her to lend him the money he just paid back to her, arguing that there was a very angry mobster waiting for his pay with a gun on his hand. Toph rolled her eyes, she acquiesced under the condition they played one more game and won his money back fair and square. Zuko tried to stop her but it was no use, Toph did what she wanted and didn't need anybody to take care of her. 

Mai closed the door for Toph. Despite all his friends leaving, there were still about 20 unknown people left. Zuko tried to think of a plan to politely get them out, so they could clean up before his roomies arrived. However, that quickly changed when somebody stumbled into him, making him collide forcefully against Mai, in the process spilling the contents of his full red cup all over their shirts. Or in her case, lack thereof.

Filled with rage he grabbed the guy by the shirt and threw him out the door. He turned over to the rest of the crowd and yelled out, “Everyone get the  _ fuck _ out of my home!  _ Right now _ !” Without hesitation, they all bolted out of the place.

Despite Azula warning her about his temper, she couldn’t imagine him filled with fury; but now that she saw  it, she had to admit she was extremely aroused. 

Zuko stared with hatred as the last couple to leave carried their passed-out friend out of the apartment. Once they did, he came up to her on the couch and knelt in front of her, his anger quickly shifting into worry. “Did you get hurt?”

Mai laughed and cupped his chin with her hand, rubbing it with her thumb. “ Of course not.”

“Oh... Because for a second there I  though \-  _ Mmph _ _.. _ ”

Tired of controlling herself, Mai charged at him with a passionate kiss. She lunged herself with so much force she fell on top of him, his back pressed against the floor, too drunk to care about the stickiness of spilled booze and the foot marks. 

He reciprocated eagerly, his touch exploring every single curve, before settling his right hand on her bare waist and his left one on the back of her head, his fingers massaging her scalp. They made out  like this for a couple of minutes, only stopping for air, until Mai started grinding against his crotch, the friction of their clothes elevating their arousal. 

Zuko groaned against her mouth and she separated from him, unclasping her bra while biting her lower lip, all while she still moved her hips back and forth, trying to get him hard. 

He gripped her waist harder, his fingers melting into her skin. She took off her bra from underneath her shirt, her erect pink nipples fully visible from her fishnet top, hoping she looked as slutty as she felt right now. To her, that was a good thing. 

Zuko groaned louder this time, his cock now fully hard and throbbing under the layers. Mouth slightly parted, he looked at her as if she was the most beautiful thing he has ever seen. His gaze, full of intensity, made her chest flutter, something she truly believes she has never experienced before. 

Too afraid to bask in that feeling, she put her hand over his wet t-shirt. “Why don’t we go change in your room,” she suggested, her tone filled with lust. “Since, we got all-” she whispered in his bad ear on purpose, “ _ - _ soaked up . ”

“You’re unbelievable,” he muttered, peppering kissed all over her neck and jawline, before attacking her mouth all over again. He rose by his elbows and Mai locked her legs on his hips, her arms crossing behind his neck while he grabbed her from beneath the curve of her ass. He stood up, lifting her with ease and made his way through the corridor, his tongue battling hers as her fingers ruffled his hair.

When they arrived, he landed them on his bed, legs intertwined. “What do you want? I’ll give it to you,” He asked breathlessly, looking into her eyes, as her hand wandered through the hard muscles beneath his shirt.

“Get up and take off your shirt.” 

He did as he was told, fully revealing his upper body, roughed up by a bunch of tiny scars, his toned chest glistening with sweat from the heat. She couldn’t understand how he could be so insecure, if she were him, she’ll gladly never wear a shirt for the rest of her life. 

“Pants,” she commanded. While he did so, she easily pulled down her joggers as she positioned herself on all fours.

Zuko’s breathing got ragged as he observed her ass in full display for him, only covered by a simple black thong. He licked his lips and said, “Not that I don’t love the view. I do,  _ very much _ . It’s just that I'd rather see your face.” 

Mai shrunk her face, she dreaded he would say that.  Of course she wants to see his face scrunched up as he calls out her name, but she realized that she liked Zuko more than she thought she would. She didn’t want to confuse things with the booze and the fake air of intimacy. Getting into a mess her sister definitely didn’t approve would only complicate things. She knew that what was going to happen between them could never occur again after tonight. 

“Maybe later,” She lied as she turned her head to see him, blushing when he realized he was standing there, completely naked and hard. “You asked me what I wanted,” She arched her back, moving her ass tauntingly, “and I want you...  _ Hard _ and  _ rough _ .” 

Zuko didn’t complain any further, instead he laid a hand on her bottom, softly caressing the goosebumps in her flesh. The wait was agonizing, she thought, but the sound of a torn-up condom wrapper made her breathe in faster with anticipation. 

He grabbed her thong, toying with the seams. He pressed himself against her, his chest wet against her back, and his latex covered penis rubbing between her ass cheeks. He whispered in her ear, “How hard do you want it?” 

She let out a soft moan, feeling her wetness leak in her panties. He grabbed her face and kissed her while pushing the thin string to the side, his finger slipping between her thighs, getting covered in her fluids. He nibbled her ear as he stretched her with his fingers, teasing her entrance with the head of his cock. She rose a little, stretching her right arm behind her to grab the back of his neck, letting out a stifled moan. “ _ Fucking hard _ , Zuko.”

His left hand settled on her butt cheek, caressing softly while the other grabbed her stomach. He breathed in the scent of her perfume while finally entering her, and she pressed her nails against his scalp, breath hitching. He grunted against her ear, the pleasure and the pain proving hard to conceal. 

He begun rocking her slowly, his penis sliding in back and forth as it adjusted. Mai let go of him, pressing her hand against the mattress for leverage. Zuko straightened his back, the hand on her stomach now on her shoulder, pushing his penis further inside and slightly elevating the pace. 

Unexpectedly, Mai let out a guttural moan, her brows knitting together as his penis reached exactly where she wanted to. “Faster,” she ordered as she grinded against him, her ass bumping into his pelvis. 

“Y-yeah,” he breathed out, his fingers now slipping through the spaces of her shirt and his left hand rising to her hip, guiding her movements as he slid in and out of her. Mai tightened around him voluntarily, arching her back. Zuko upped his rate, doing exactly as he was told. The newfound grip had him moaning repeatedly, voice fragmented. 

He pushed as fast he could and Mai was breathing in and out, soft whimpers leaving her mouth from time to time. His hips were now fully smacking her ass, the slapping sound echoing in the room along with their vocal rendition. The room was hot and the air suffocating, they were both drenched in their sweat. Zuko, trying to control his stamina, gripped her shirt, and without realizing, he teared it, leaving her right shoulder bare. 

Mai moaned louder, approving his ferocity, and urged him to pull her hair. Taking advantage of that, knowing he wasn’t going to last longer and she was about to cum, not only did he tug at her soft shiny hair, he grabbed her by the stomach, lifting her now so she was on top, his buttocks pressed on his heels. 

He let go of her hair and grabbed her neck, chocking her slightly but not enough to restrict airflow. The hand on her stomach now wandered down, shoving her panties further to the side to expose her pussy, playing with the short strands of hair that were just beginning to grow. Mai was now in charge of the movements, grinding, swirling and bouncing on his penis, her hands clutching his forearms for balance. 

He knew he couldn’t take it much longer so he introduced two fingers in her mouth for lubrication and begun rubbing her clit. “Oh-Oh my...” Her breath faltered and he pulled her chin to meet her face, her black eyeshadow having melted under her eyes. Their eyes were locked into each other, glimmering with a feeling, that between the pleasure and the closeness, she couldn’t be able to properly describe. The only thing she knew for sure is that it was both dangerous and overwhelming. 

Aware that she was about to come, Zuko kissed her passionately, rubbing her faster. Mai halted, gripping his arms tighter, her pussy clenching on his cock, and her mouth opening yet not making a sound. 

Zuko pumped into her, trying to prolong her pleasure, her legs quivering with the sensitivity. He came shortly after her with a loud groan, his fluids filling in the condom and his arms enclosing over her body, reeling in on the  warmth.

They stayed there for almost a minute, trying to catch their breaths and regaining the energy to move. She made a small sound when he finally slid off her. 

Mai threw herself on his bed, quietly breathing as she rearranged her panties, meanwhile, he tied the condom and threw it in the trash. He put on his underwear and joined her on the right side of the bed. 

He let out a loud sigh, and smiled. “That was... amazing.”

She turned over to see him, a smile of satisfaction adorning her face. She hummed in agreement, her hand slowly caressing his toned biceps. “I bet I look like a mess right now,” she complained, trying to clean up her eyebags with her fingers.

Zuko pushed aside a strand of hair that blocked her face, then gently ran his knuckles over her flushed cheeks. He shook his head. “You look beautiful,” he reaffirmed, an innocent look taking over his face that reminded her of when they were wild, slobby, (and untraumatized), kids. 

Her heart beat faster and she felt the need to ask, “Do you remember when were kids?” Her brows were knit together, worried that only she was able to remember because she hadn’t been that important at the time as he was to her. 

Zuko beamed. “Of course! Are you kidding?”

Mai smiled widely; she wasn’t used to do so but his glee was contagious. “Those were good  memories .”

“One of the bests,” he agreed, shifting closer to her. “I thought I’d never see you again.”

“Me too... Or that if we did, things would be,” She paused, trying to find the words, “... terribly different.” 

“They are... but in a good way,” he said, clearly optimistic. 

She sighed, knowing she saw things far too differently. “Zuko...” She decided to not dance with excuses and simply rip off the band aid, “I’m sorry, but what happened tonight... it can’t happen again.”

His mood shifted almost immediately upon hearing her words. “B-But I thought...”

“I feel the same towards you,” she said, the words surprisingly falling with ease off her lips, as she ran her fingers through his sweaty hair. “But I can’t break a lifetime of friendship just for you.”

Zuko frowned when she implied about her sister. “If this is about her getting mad, then who cares? She’ll get over it.”

Mai grimaced, thinking he was being too insensitive. “It’s not about that, you know she’s unstable.”

“Yeah and that hasn’t changed one bit since we were kids,” he stated, rolling his eyes. 

“How can you say that?” She exclaimed, sitting up. She understood if he didn’t like her sister but the way he talked about her, especially after the event that happened, made her furious. “ _ So what? _ You want her to find out? Knowing how unpredictable she is acting right now? Or, do you want her to hurt herself and others again?  _ What is it? _ You want her to get locked up in the loony bin again so she can finally leave you __ alone?!”

Zuko rose from the bed, his mouth wide open, shocked by her revelation. “Wait- Wait, locked up?  _ What? _ ”

The red that covered her face suddenly dried up, leaving her pale. Mai was just as shocked as him. “You don’t know?”

“Know what?!” 

She stood there in silence, unsure of what to say.

“Mai... you need to tell me right now what the hell you’re talking about,” he said, trying with all his force to act calm. 

Mai swallowed. “Look, I think you need to talk to your uncle-”

“-My uncle?” He raised his eyebrows.

“-it’s better if I just tell you what I saw.”

Zuko breathed in, laying a hand over his mouth. When he was calmer, he nodded, asking her to proceed. 

She told him all about that day and the events that preceded. On February 3 rd, Ozai had been convicted for lifetime at a maximum facility for tax evasion, money laundering, and executing orders to a hired assassin multiple times, which, of course, Zuko already knew. However, what he didn’t know was that the week prior Azula had started acting... strange, they weren’t present during that time but the maids said she was talking to someone that wasn’t there, claiming it was her mother. 

The same day her father got convicted all of his assets got frozen and the very next day, both Ty Lee and Mai visited to support her. It was all fine, Azula was acting as arrogant as always, until a few hours later they were on the kitchen when she got a phone call from her uncle Iroh. 

“I don’t know what your uncle told her but next thing I know she started yelling that I—her own mother—had betrayed her once again and charged at me with the nearest kitchen knife.” She trailed her finger over the outline of her scar located in her arm. “And that’s how I got it. Luckily, Ty Lee tackled her before it escalated further. The maids called the police, who in turn called the hospital and they internalized her for about almost two weeks.”

They stayed in silence for an eternal minute.

A hundred of emotions were written on Zuko’s face. 

It was safe to say he was speechless. 


	2. Guilt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said it was going to be a two-part thing but i changed my mind.

Sometimes when he was too much in his head, Zuko did impulsive things.

Things like grabbing a bag, throw in a toothbrush and some underwear that was on the floor. At least, he smelled it before. 

It didn’t hit him until he was inside the bus that he wasn’t going to visit his uncle for a fun weekend—he had a test on Monday and didn’t bring anything to study, so he was definitely coming back first thing in the morning. 

He tried to focus on the landscape but it was proving to be impossible, a thousand thoughts passed fleetingly trough his head.

He thought about early morning—actually it had been noon—feeling Mai slip from beneath his arm. He had awoken from his dream but still kept his eyes closed, he heard Ty Lee’s voice urging her to hurry because Azula was arriving soon. That alerted Zuko enough to open his eyes but he had been surprised to find the bare back of her slender body bended over as she grabbed whatever she could find and bolted out of the room. 

Not only did he have the image of Mai’s butt imprinted in his head forever, he also had started making up scenarios in his head about them, together. Even though she had made it absolutely clear that it wouldn’t happen again. 

Even if they had great sex.

Even if it had been more than once. 

Even if she curled up against his chest for the rest of the night. 

He was shocked to confirm last night wasn’t a dream, or an alcohol induced coma. The most insane thing would have been the sex part, if it wasn’t for the whole  _ ‘Azula had a psychotic breakdown weeks ago and no one thought it would be okay to mention that to him’ _ .

Except for Mai, who Zuko would be eternally grateful for telling him, although, he wished she would have better timing, because he had achieved at least 4 of his 20 sexual fantasies that night and it was overshadowed by his family issues, and not by the easy ones. 

He should have been more realistic before thinking that with his father in jail he would finally escape his grasp, but here he was, road to Uncle’s town at the last minute because he had the answers he was looking for. 

He saw the perfectly crafted cup of tea in front of him and scowled. The sun was setting in front of them and uncle had closed down the shop so they could spend time together. The gleaming smile slowly transformed in concern, “What’s wrong, Zuko?”

“I think you know exactly what is wrong,” Zuko said, arms crossed, sulking into the horizon. He had been deemed the most dramatic in his friend group. At first, he hated it, then he embraced it.

Uncle didn’t fret over his declarations anymore, and it deeply irritated Zuko when he wouldn’t match his mood in a discussion. It made him feel senseless, seeing him standing straight with a smile on his face as he explained everything calmly, as if all of this was normal.

“Your sister refused to move in if I told you.”

Zuko threw his hands in the air. “Uncle, she’s ill! Why are you negotiating with her!”

“ Otherwise, she would have escaped the center and fled to another continent.” Uncle sighed and brought the cup of tea to his lips. “Nephew, your sister is one of the brightest persons I ever met-” Zuko huffed a that “-but unlike you, she has the emotional intelligence of a rock. With my brother in jail, nothing ties her up anymore. Sure, she’d come up with a plan that would successfully work the first months, but with her lack of social skills, no source of income and her inability to do basic chores, things could have taken a drastic turn.” He took the last sip from his cup and swiftly set it on the table. “More tea?”

Zuko’s untouched cup was cold in his hand, he chugged it down, unbothered by cold tea, and handed it to his uncle. He stared up the sky, red, orange and yellow overlooking the city he grew up in. His uncle grabbed the tray and looked for more tea. 

He groaned into his hands, exasperatedly rubbing his face. He couldn’t decipher what he was feeling. He used to resent Azula for being loved by father, now he feels guilty that he experienced genuine affection while her sister was bred for scheming. He wished he could tape her mouth whenever she raged over the dishes he left in the sink, but he also felt the need to drape her over with a blanket whenever she fell asleep after studying up all night. 

Uncle filled up his cup and this time Zuko decided to drink it before it went cold. “Azula is difficult, that much is true. However, it is critical that you support her during this time. It was pure luck that Azula only had a one psychotic episode, if she doesn’t take care of herself, she could develop chronic schizophrenia.”

Hearing that only made Zuko angrier. “And you thought it was a good idea to leave me in the unknown? I don’t know what you were thinking but she’s out of control. Ty Lee might help her calm down sometimes but, in the end, Mai is the one that has to deal with her, which she shouldn’t be doing  _ because she almost stabbed her! _ ” Zuko stood up, his chair almost stumbling in the process. “What the hell did you tell her in that call? And don’t act like you didn’t do something, because you did!”

He didn’t understand how his uncle could remain so calm, he wondered if one day he would achieve that same sense of relief, but until then, he would yell until he got some answers— _ any answer _ . 

“Zuko, the only person responsible for Azula’s mental health was the same person that gave you that scar on your face. If life was fair,  Ozai would be paying for the all crimes he did, but he isn’t, so now it’s up to us to support her in the ways she allows us too.”

“That doesn’t explain anything,  you told her _ something! _ ”

Zuko never expected that something so simple could cause someone to react that way. Uncle told him that Azula, being older than 18, went broke with his father once his assets got frozen. Uncle called to say he was going to be in charge of her financially from now on, but she had to move in with Zuko. 

“I didn’t understand either how it translated into that, but the doctors said she had been seeing and speaking to hallucinations of your mother that entire week. They interpreted that Mai represented Ursa at the time, and that my call was all her mother’s plan to tear her away from  Ozai .”

Zuko rubbed the bridge of his nose and sat down on the chair again. He knew uncle was speaking the truth but it was hard to assimilate. 

His phone started buzzing from his pocket. It was a call... from Azula. He motioned at his uncle to keep quiet and answered warily, “Hello?”

“I have to admit, you did a nice job cleaning up the place.”

He did? Ty Lee must have covered him because he didn’t lift a finger. “Well, thanks.”

“ Ty Lee was feeling guilty for forcing Mai and you to be in charge of the party, so she was wondering... maybe...”

“Maybe what?”

“...You wanted to join us for dinner?” Her proposition was her way of apologizing, it made sense she was  to prideful to just throw it out there. 

Zuko smiled. At the end of the day, despite the distance and their differences, Azula was still his blood. He couldn’t abandon her just because she was bothersome. She had issues, and even if she didn’t want to admit them, he had to support her, just like uncle supported him when their mother died. “I would but I'm at Aang’s,” he lied because it was easier than stirring up the pot.

“Fine, but don’t think this invitation will happen again,” she said, her pompous tone dripping all over her words.

“I figured.”

“Whatever. Have fun failing to save the planet,” She mocked him before hanging up. 

Before he noticed, it was already nighttime. It was easy to get lost in conversation with his uncle. He always offered great pieces of wisdom. He used to diminish them in the past but experience has taught Zuko that his uncle was always right. 

He also found out that the apartment they live in wasn’t from his father, and neither was the immense amount of money Azula was receiving. “Wait, so you’re telling me I waited tables all the way through high school for... _ ¿N _ _ othing? _ ”

Turns out, his uncle gained gigantic sums of money after being forced to sell all his shares from his father’s company. His bank account had multiple zero’s in it for years now. “It wasn’t for nothing, what do you think would have happened if I gave you all the money without any responsibilities.”

Zuko nodded. Although, he wasn’t really bothered beyond the fact he had to deal with costumer service—which he wouldn’t wish upon his worst enemy. “So, you can actually afford to pay Azula’s lifestyle?”

“Most definitely, it’s not like I spend all my money. Only for the teashop, charity... and now your sister.”

“Umm... why am I not on the list, Uncle?” Zuko blinked, dumbfounded.  _ “You knew I always wanted a Play Station 4! _ ”

“Oh, Zuko, relax. You ended up buying it on your own! Remember how proud you were?”

He slouched on his chair. As usual, he was right. 

\----------------------------

Mai looked at herself in the mirror of the elevator.

On the outside, she looked fine, her face was bare now, she had on her earphones, and she wore more appropriate clothing. 

Inside, she was suffering a slow and agonizing death.

She thinks about last night and she wants to smack herself on the head. The conclusion was obvious, she had been an idiot. 

It was the mimosas. She knew she should have cancelled lunch with Ty Lee, those damn things started everything. 

She smirked at herself through the mirror. Guilt and pleasure walked hand in hand anyways, as much as she resented herself for being so careless, she also was proud of herself for taking what she wanted. She deserves it, she almost got fucking stabbed. 

After spending the entire day puking her guts out in Azula’s bathroom, she was finally going home, and by home she means her extremely tiny two-person dorm room. 

She opened the door to her room and immediately regretted it.

“What the fuck!!” Sokka yelled in shock while Suki quickly put the covers over her back. 

Mai's jaw dropped to the floor and she quickly closed the door. She tightened her fists and dragged her feet back to the elevator. 

She texted Suki a middle finger and a message telling her to let her know when it was safe to come back. 

She walked a few blocks on campus and sat on a bench overlooking a fake laguna. Mai went through her purse, trying to find something that could help her keep entertained. Lipstick; nope. Chewing gum; she’ll vomit. Her wallet; pointing out every single detail that’s wrong with her id picture seemed the most promising activity so far.

Suddenly, she remembered an important detail. She put her hand in her pocket and pulled out a small joint. 

Hiding joints in her jackets remarked her genius status. She had smoked most of them so far, but she left this jacket at Azula’s the other day and she’s very glad she did. 

She grabbed a stolen lighter from her purse and lit up the joint. She quickly scanned the perimeter in case there were guards or serial killers. She coughed and relaxed her shoulders, overlooking the fake body of water. 

Blue water glimmered under the stars, the moon was pretty tonight—wait a minute, she never was that sappy. She finally smacked herself in the forehead, done with her own bullshit. 

Hooking up with Zuko may be the dumbest idea she has ever had in her life, and she rarely made avoidable mistakes. She was done being satisfied with her choices. It was back to feeling guilty.

She couldn’t stop thinking about him, she tried to stop it but it only made it worse. Various images from last night played over and over her head. She tried to rationalize her behavior. She envisioned her angel and her devil bickering on her shoulders, which consequently were Ty Lee and Azula. 

“It’s the hormones,” Devil Azula stated sitting over her right shoulder. “After sex, women produce a hormone that makes them more attached to the person.”

“ Yeah but that doesn’t erase that those feeling are still true, it only makes it more real if you think about it,” Ty Lee chirped as she laid on her shoulder, pink feather wings flapping. “She is  _ so _ crushing on Zuko.”

“You’re right, she does.” Azula smiled with mischief, her tail moving. “Finally! I thought she was damaged!”

In perfect harmony, Devil Azula and Angel Ty Lee started singing, “Mai has a crush! Mai has a crush! Mai has a crush!”

“Ugh,” she groaned and swatted them away like the flies they were. “I don’t have a crush,” she muttered to herself.

Trying to prove herself, she began dialing up a frat boy whose name she misspelt. Thankfully Suki stopped her from doing another mistake.  _ ‘Sokka is leaving’ _ . 

_ ‘That  _ _ fast?, _ _ ’  _ She texted her back, hoping Suki understood the double meaning.

She walked back to the apartment, keys between her fingers. On the entrance she bumped into Sokka, whose look of satisfaction made her glower, he just got out of the doghouse and he was already enjoying herself. Maybe it was a sign to stop punishing herself.

“What’s shaking baby?” Sokka celebrated with too much confidence for someone whose balls she was forced to see.

“Please don’t say that.”

He raised an eyebrow while pointing at her neck. “Is that what I think it is?”

Mai's eyes widened, frantically searching with her fingers the spot she missed applying concealer. 

Sokka laughed. “Gotcha! You have to admit you deserved that.”

“I think I got my own when I walked in on you and Suki. Thanks for that, by the way,” She said with sarcasm. 

“ Oooh ,  that! As if Suki won’t get used to walking in on you and Zuko,” He wiggled his brow, taunting her. 

Mai let out a small gasp, not expecting to be exposed by Sokka. Despite his lack of boundaries, she didn’t think he deserved to get punched in the face yet. He was the least terrible douchebag she’s met so far and he wasn’t intimidated by her sense of humor, actually, he seemed to get it. “Definitely not happening,” saying it made something inside of her crunch, she was regretting shutting Zuko out so fast. 

But then she thought about getting stabbed again if Azula found out and it all seemed much clearer.

“No way, now I have to listen to him whine about it for the rest of the week!”

“Sucks for you.” She patted him in the back and got on the elevator. 

“Don’t think it will be the last time you two get together, I won’t let that happen!” He promised as the doors were closing in. The last thing he saw before they completely shut was Mai rolling her eyes. 

Suki opened the door for her, thankfully fully clothed in one of her many oversized t-shirts. 

Mai let out a sigh of relief. She walked in, throwing her stuff on the floor and flopping onto her bed. “It seems like I don’t need to ask you what’s going on with Sokka.”

Suki turned around pulling her short hair into a tiny ponytail. “I’ve decided to give him another chance. He dumped me because he was too depressed and thought I was too good for him; I can’t blame him for feeling bad for himself.”

“I didn’t expect that from him but now that I think about it, the self-deprecating humor kind of gave it away.”

“He  sorts of reminds me of you,” Suki said.

She doesn’t know how to take  that; she didn’t feel complimented at all. Mai propped herself up on her elbows. “You’re right, our balls are the same size.”

Suki playfully threw her pillow at her. “I mean it, you both are the funniest people I know and you’re both depressed. That’s a big coincidence.”

“I’m funny?” Mai raised an eyebrow. 

“Don’t be modest.”

She was genuinely confused. 

Suki turned the seat of her desk in Mai’s direction and sat on it, and without a warning asked, “Did you get laid?” 

She wasn’t shy with Suki but that didn’t mean wouldn’t furiously blush when she thought about last night. Mai threw her a look that said everything. 

Suki rubbed her hands with enthusiasm. “Oh, I'm so happy for you! How was he?”

She was grateful for having someone she could talk about anything perverted without being judged. Ty Lee didn’t get her because her usual weapon of choice was playing hard to get, which meant sex after two months of dating, and as for Azula, she only has kissed three different persons, at least all of them had different genders. 

Well, it’s also relevant that she certainly wouldn’t talk to them about Zuko unless she had a death wish. 

(Which she sort of did but it was more like a long-term plan).

“Calm down pervert.” Mai rearranged her position to sit against the wall. Just recalling the details in her mind made the room get hotter. Her face was red and she could tell that Suki made an effort to not mention it to her. “It was... insane,” Mai declared, picking up the dirt off her long nails, “It started really good, then it got even better.”

“No way! How did things escalate?”

“Well... I waited for everyone to leave then I pretty much threw him on the ground and we started making out.”

Suki gasped. “ _ You _ did that?”

“Yes,” Mai rubbed the bridge of her nose. “I was too drunk, too horny and he was so shy, it only made it worse, I kind of lost it.”

Her friend clapped slowly. “You’re my hero.”

Mai snorted in a way that was cringeworthy. “Shut up,” she said monotonously, but deep down she was flustered. 

“So, when are you seeing him again?” 

“Well...” 

“What?”

“I told him it couldn’t happen again.”

Suki brought her hands to her head the same way she did when she saw her teammates fail a goal. “Why?” She asked dumbfounded. 

Mai rubbed her temple. “Why do you think? I don’t want Azula to stab me again!”

Suki pursed her lips. “I can’t believe you... Are you in love with her or something?”

Mai subtlety showed disgust with her expression. She wouldn’t mind being with a girl, but Azula was just unconceivable. 

“You’re an idiot you know,” Suki didn’t mean it that way, but sounded like it did.

Mai frowned. “What about you? Do I need to mention who I bumped with and why I did so?” 

Suki was about to retaliate but instead she crossed her arm with resignation. “Fine...”

Mai nodded.

“Well, I don’t care what you told him, nor what you want, I will do something about you two,” Suki threatened. 

“I’d like to see you try,” Mai smirked at her friend, challenging her. That wasn’t such a good idea now that she remembered how  competitive she was. 

“Don’t worry, I will.” She raised one eyebrow. 

Game on.

\------------------------------------------------------

The next afternoon, Zuko was already heading back home. It felt nice to escape the city a while, he thinks he should go visit his uncle more often. 

Now that he was halfway home, he began worrying about his troubles once again. 

He was thorn. 

On one hand, he experienced something with Mai that couldn’t put into words. He only recalled memories that flooded his brain. He felt like they could have talked more; was she seeing anyone? Did she have any sibling? What are her parents like? He hated when he started crushing on someone because his clingiest side came out. He wanted to know everything about her, meanwhile she was so cool and collected she probably only  scribbled him in her list of lovers then forgot about him. 

On the other hand, his sister... well, that’s even harder to explain. He was still processing everything, and as much as he had fun with uncle, he refrained from exploding and yelling at him, just like he did in past days.

He still couldn’t help but bear a feeling of immense guilt. He tried to understand why. His uncle was right, he had no influence in Azula’s current state. It was all  Ozai’s fault, not his. 

He guesses he feels like that way because of the hatred he holds towards her. 

Hate was a strong word, but Zuko felt strongly towards everything. And that’s indeed what he felt towards her, she was dad’s favorite and he was just a worm to step on. He had to work for the bare minimum while everyone fulfilled her wishes at the bottom of her feet. 

He certainly got past wanting the life her sister had, but unresolved feeling didn’t go away overnight. 

He was busy overthinking when the advertisement of his university popped up two  blocks before his destination.

Fuck. He forgot he had his test tomorrow.

He’ll let this test slide and focus on the next one. 

He thought about cheating but his moral compass wouldn’t allow him. 

Maybe he should put up an all-nighter, with perseverance comes rewards. 

Or maybe he should just study and get enough sleep, that way his performance will be fully charged.

Or maybe—Fuck!

Was that Mai? He tried to focus his sight, the street he was walking on was extremely dark with only a few spotlights from the streetlamps. He couldn’t tell if it was her and he was freaking out. 

Maybe he could turn left and pretend this was his building—except she would know it wasn’t his, if anything she was probably coming back from his place. 

Maybe he could look down and avoid her gaze, but that would be just pathetic. 

He should just confront the situation, even if she most likely thinks he’s lame. 

She’s already nearer, and he’s  already smiling, and... she’s throwing him a dirty look. 

And that actually wasn’t Mai. Just another raven-haired girl with too much hair spray and edge. 

What was wrong with him? Was he cursed to walk around the rest of the week stressed by  people that looked like his last and probably only lay of the year? 

Now that he thinks about it, that was so embarrassing, that girl probably thinks now that he’s a predator or something of the sort. 

He was at the entrance of his building, holding the door open for an old lady when a tall figure creeped behind her. He was too busy thinking about the former incident that he didn’t realize that the girl behind the monotonous “Hey...” and the glint in her eyes was no other that the one that plagued his every thought.

“Hey... Mai,” he said, not sounding like his usual self. He was petrified by her presence, life certainly worked in unexpected ways.

She was just as beautiful as two nights ago. Her hair was down and slick, she wore a simple band t-shirt that was probably too cool for him to recognize, and her lips were still as kissable as they had been then. 

He couldn’t dare to say anything, so she broke the ice, “What’s up?”

A deep urge wanted to say the weather but then she wouldn’t speak to him again, rightfully so. 

He scratched the back of his head with the hand that wasn’t holding the door. “Not much really, just came back from Aang’s place and I'm really fucked for tomorrow’s test.”

Mai  nodded; she probably didn’t give a fuck. 

He breathed in, remembering he should  ask her something back. “What about you?” Ok, that was original. 

“Just visiting your sister.”

“I figured,” he said, then retreated his statement nervously when he figured how douchey he sounded, “No- I mean, you’re probably not here to see me. Well, not probably, more like obviously, I guess...”

“‘Probably’ is okay,” she said with her usual tone but with a hint of playfulness. 

Was she flirting with him? He was about to panic, he certainly didn’t expect her to do so, especially since she was most  adamant they shouldn’t see each other again.

“How’s my sister?” He changed the subject, realizing he was most likely cockblocking himself. 

Mai raised an eyebrow, clearly unhappy with the choice of subject. “As bitchy as always.”

“Oh... that’s... not surprising at all,” he said sheepishly. 

She smiled, endeared by his dorkiness. 

There was a moment of silence, were they both knew they wanted to keep talking to each other but the conversation was too awkward to salvage. 

“I actually wasn’t at Aang’s,” Zuko confessed, “I was at my uncle’s.”

Mai raised an eyebrow, intrigued by the shift in subject. He silently thanked uncle for helping him with his girl troubles once again, even if it was indirectly. 

They sat on a bench that was on the building he bumped into faux-Mai minutes earlier. He never expected to see Mai again so early and under this context, but it was better than he imagined it would be like. 

He sat there, explaining every detail his uncle said about Azula, and Mai listened soundly, her attention fully focused on him. It didn’t feel forceful for neither of them, they had seen naked each other already, words flowed out back and forth.

“I think that my uncle’s call triggered something in her.”

“Can I be honest?” Mai asked, acting more  cautious than she usually did. 

“Go ahead.”

“I think that what really triggered her was the idea of living with you once again,” she said carefully as if to soften the blow. 

Zuko contemplated her statement in silence. A part of him wanted to be angry for such declarations but deep down he knew she was right. Just as much as it pained to admit all the negative  feelings he had towards her, Azula probably held the same resentment he did.

He was thankful and surprised her sister hadn’t planned her vengeance yet; other than eating all his comfort food out of spite and encouraging Ty Lee to sing very loudly, even if her friend swears she is talented when she’s not. 

“It’s my fault you got stabbed,” he said with guilt. 

Mai rolled her eyes, not up for a pity party. “I think we already established that you, Zuko, who hasn’t been in contact for years with her own sister, was clearly not responsible for Azula’s severe chemical imbalance.”

Zuko sighed on his hands. “I know that! But I keep feeling like it is my fault!”

Mai raised her hand, hesitating before resting it on his shoulder. “Maybe, because now that you know what you know, you have the choice of doing something about it and you feel conflicted,” to some she may sound cold but a heavy dose of reality was just what he needed. 

He was used to sharing his problems with his friends, but the talk about each other's feeling sometimes became too much they all ended going over and over the issues without any real closure. Mai was straight and to the point, which proved to be a good logic when he ended getting caught up in the details. 

At the end of the day, she was right, he felt guilty because they currently don’t have the greatest sibling relationship. He should do something about it and he will.

“She’s  difficult ,” Zuko thought out loud.

“You certainly don’t have to tell me that.”

Zuko chuckled and looked at Mai, who was staring at the cars passing down the hills. The bench was a great spot for a panoramic view of the city. Zuko doesn’t know how he missed the details of how rich they were because this view was privileged. 

“Can I say something?”

“Sure.”

Zuko opened his mouth to speak but he didn’t want to ruin everything with what he was about to say. 

“What is it?” She glanced at him, encouraging to speak.

He had the choice to do something about his relationship with his sister and that came with sacrifices.

He sighed, knowing he had nothing to lose. “I know what happened between us probably meant a hundred times more for me that it did you, but I wanted to let you know that I respect your wishes to make it a one-time thing.”

Mai’s face didn’t bulge an inch but she was  scratching the wood of the bench with her fake nail. 

“I’m probably making it a bigger deal than it is but either way, I think you’re right. I want to make things right with my sister now ‘that I know what I know’, and bothering you certainly would make us all start with the wrong foot. So yeah... I guess I needed to say that.”

He began to heat up when he wasn’t getting an answer. Apparently, his new skill was taking advantage of every opportunity he could get to  humiliate himself. 

Mai shrugged. “I can help you with your sister if you want.”

Okay, that was a hundred times better answer than he expected. His heart shattered a little when he realized she was completely fine with his proposition of being nothing, but he couldn’t complain, at least she wasn’t ready to mass text her friends over what a loser he was. 

“Really? You want to? You would do that?” Zuko asked, overtly excited.

Mai thought about it for a second. “I don’t think it is that exciting but I guess I can help you, why not?”

To him, it was incredibly exciting for reasons he couldn’t explain, so much, he forgot the concept of personal space and gave her a hug, not the clingiest one, but it was sweet regardless. 

It caught Mai by surprise, making her blush and in turn making him turn red as well, but she quickly melted in his arms, securing herself over the cool breeze of the night. The hug was short, but it felt eternal.

“Thank you.”

“Why? It’s not like I've done anything yet.”

“Still...” He smiled at her, knowing it was going to be a bitch to respect his own rule he made to punish himself, but it was all going to be worth it. 

He called her an uber home, refusing to let her walk by herself at night. He watched her get up in the car, starstruck by her mere presence and ignoring all the trouble he was about to be in. 

He beamed all the way back home until he reached the door of his  apartment . It was back to facing reality. 

He knows the Azula he will see now will be externally the same as the one he saw two days ago, but his stomach  couldn't help but churn over the thought of seeing her again, currently ‘knowing what he knows’.

He opens the door and finds her sister and Ty Lee watching a Keanu Reeves film. They had done the same thing the past few  Sundays so he’s beginning to  think that Keanu’s films are some sort of ritual the two of them hold together. 

Azula really wasn’t paying attention to the movie, she was focused on a book, her big glasses framing her face. 

“Hey Zuko! Why don’t you come join us?”

“Ugh, who told you he could do that?” Azula snarked at her friend. 

Virtually, it was the same Azula, except that now he just wanted to hug her and promise to kill her less times in his daydreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I won't update anytime sooner but I will eventually, i like doing modern AU and i guessed i need a space to do them carefully and i like the verse setting i created with this one.

**Author's Note:**

> I know Zuko and Mai are like the king and queen of PDA but i personally headcanon that Mai thought PDA was disgusting (bc she's emotionally unavilable my poor bby :'|) before meeting Zuko. Also, regarding the sex... again, she's afraid of falling in luuuh and there's nothing wrong with wanting to get your guts rearranged from time to time, right?
> 
> I haven't written the second part yet so it will be probably be ready next week, it will pick up where it left off and will focus on Mai and Zuko trying to avoid each other, and obviously their relationship (both together and apart) with Azula.


End file.
